Saturday, April 6, 2019

Rusty Jabbz Newsletter April 2019 Issue #02 "Wrestlemania 35"

Okay, its 5 o'clock, we're logging on into the Wrestlemania 35 Kick Off Show. We have 02 hours to kill before the big event. What are we going to discuss during these next 02 hours.
Let's go over to the panel and see who's there.

Kick Off Show Panel:
Jonathan Coachman, Sam Roberts, Paige and JBL...
Look like we're going to have some awesome guests as well, joining the Kick Off Show panel throughout the evening.
Edge and Christian
Jerry "The King" Lawler
Shawn Michaels
David Otunga, "Happy Birthday today, David"
Booker T

Kick Off Show Match #01
"CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP"
TONY NESE DEFEAT BUDDY MURPHY
You have two heels facing one another for the Cruiserweight Championship. I assume for this one night, Tony Nese is the babyface of the match. I don't really care, face or no face. I'm riding with the Australian Juggernaut, Buddy Murphy. 🤟
Like I mentioned earlier, I'm not a huge fan of Tony Nese. I'm not a fan of anyone who likes to brag about how beautiful his pecks are. However, Tony Nese's victory is long overdue. He deserves tonight's victory.

Kick Off Show Match #02
"WOMEN'S BATTLE ROYAL"
MARIA KANELLIS, 01ST ELIMINATION
CANDACE LARAE, 02ND ELIMINATION
NIKKI CROSS, 03RD ELIMINATION
NAOMI, 04TH ELIMINATION
EMBER MOON, 05TH ELIMINATION
LANA, 06TH ELIMINATION
KAIRI SANE, 07TH ELIMINATION
RUBY RIOTT, 08TH ELIMINATION
LIV MORGAN, 09TH ELIMINATION
ZELINA VEGA, 10TH ELIMINATION
DANA BROOKE, 11TH ELIMINATION
MANDY ROSE, 12TH ELIMINATION
MICKIE JAMES, 13TH ELIMINATION
SONYA DEVILLE, 14TH ELIMINATION
ASUKA, 15TH ELIMINATION
SARA LOGAN, 16TH ELIMINATION
CARMELA IS MONEY AND MANIA TONIGHT, THE WINNER OF THE BATTLE ROYAL

Kick Off Show Match #03
"RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP"
CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER DEFEAT THE REVIVAL
Could, Curt Hawkins 269 match losing streak come to an end. YES SIRRR!!! The Streak is finally over, fucking A dude and on top of everything, we have new Raw tag team champions. WOOOO HOOOO, The Major Brothers are back! Congratulations Bro 💯

Kick Off Show Match #04
"ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL"
Lince Dorado, 01ST ELIMINATION
Curtis Axel, 02ND ELIMINATION
Shelton Benjamin, 03RD ELIMINATION
Bo Dallas, 04TH ELIMINATION
Rhyno, 05TH ELIMINATION
Tyler Breeze, 06TH ELIMINATION
Luke Gallows, 07TH ELIMINATION
EC3, 08TH ELIMINATION
Heath Slater, 09TH ELIMINATION
Titus O'Neill, 10TH ELIMINATION
No Way Jose, 11TH ELIMINATION
Karl Anderson, 12TH ELIMINATION
Bobby Roode, 13TH ELIMINATION
Gran Metalik, 14TH ELIMINATION
Kalisto, 15TH ELIMINATION
Chad Gable, 16TH ELIMINATION
The Ascensions, 17TH ELIMINATION
Heavy Machinery,18TH ELIMINATION
Jinder Mahal,19TH ELIMINATION
Ali, 20TH ELIMINATION
Luke Harper, 21ST ELIMINATION
Apollo, 22ND ELIMINATION
Andrade, 23RD ELIMINATION
The Hardy Boyz, 24TH ELIMINATION
Colin Jost's therapist, 25TH ELIMINATION
Michael Che, 26TH ELIMINATION
Colin Jost, 27TH ELIMINATION
BRAUN STROWMAN WINS, LIKE WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT. CAN WE START THE PAY PER VIEW NOW?

Now, we're getting ready to start tonight's pay per view taking place in the Met Life Stadium in E. Rutherford, NJ... Tonight it's all about Wrestlemania 35 🤟🤟🤟🤟🤟

Gracing her presence to sing, "America The Beautiful" Platinum recording artist, Yolanda Adams  👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

The Goddess, Alexa Bliss the host of tonight's Wrestlemania 35. Alexa Bliss making her Wrestlemania moment.
Alexa Bliss snapping her fingers for The immortal, Hulk Hogan to come out. I don't understand why is Hulk Hogan here. WWE just killing time.

More time killing, now everyone have to deal with the big mouth of Paul Heyman. Paul Heyman demanding that Brock Lesnar is the main event or else he's taking his business elsewhere.

Wait, what are we doing here. I can't believe they're starting off Wrestlemania 35 already with the Universal Championship match. Didn't Paul Heyman come out here and demanded to be last tonight. Why are they doing this now. Vince McMuFFin will do anything for Bonehead Lesnar.🖕

MATCH #01 "UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP"
SETH ROLLINS DEFEAT BROCK LESNAR
Seth Rollins become the New Universal Champion. I'am happy for Brock Lesnar and Seth Rollins having there match tonight but they didn't have to do it so earlier. Brock Lesnar just didn't want to stick around here tonight. He wanted to get this match over with and leave. Like I said, I'am glad the belt is finally off of Brock Lesnar but let's be real what a shitty victory being made for Seth Rollins. 🙁

Special Guest Commentator: Jerry The King Lawler
MATCH #02
AJ STYLES DEFEAT RANDY ORTON
This house remain to be "The House that Aj Styles built!"

MATCH #03 "SDL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP/FATAL FOURWAY"
THE USOS DEFEAT THE BAR, SHINSUKE NAKAMURA & RUSEV AND ALEISTER BLACK & RICOCHET
The Usos holding onto to their Tag Team Championships

Met Life Stadium welcomes WWE Hall of Fame, Class of 2019:
The Honky Tonk Man
Harlem Heat
Torrie Wilson
Brutus The Barber Beefcake
The Heart Foundation
D-Generation X

MATCH #04 "FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE"
SHANE MCMAHON DEFEAT THE MIZ
Shane McMahon defeating The Miz based on a technicality. The Miz taking tonight's match a little to personal. The Miz might have made a idiotic move with that powerslam from the top of that scaffolding set up. Shane landing on top of The Miz. Technically its, The Miz's shoulders down. The referee giving the victory to Shane McMahon.

Special Guest Commentator: Paige
MATCH #05 "WWE WOMEN'S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP/FATAL FOURWAY"
THE ICONICS DEFEAT BOSS N HUG CONNECTION, BETH PHOENIX & NATALYA AND NIA JAX & TAMINA
Yes, the WWE Women's Tag Team Championships coming to Smackdown, that's what's up. Peyton Royce and Billie Kay finally scored some gold. Congratulations! 👏👏👏👏

Okay, we're finally here. The moment I've been waiting for, KOFI KOFI KOFI KOFI KOFI
I'm looking forward to tonight's victory. BRING IT HOME, KOFI! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

MATCH #06 "WWE CHAMPIONSHIP"
KOFI KINGSTON DEFEAT DANIEL BRYAN
The New Day getting sick and tired of Rowan. Big E and Xavier eliminating the Rowan problem at ringside.
Daniel Bryan with a third attempt at the labelle lock on Kofi Kingston. Kofi Kingston once again breaking through. The New Day Rocks chants are loud throughout the Met Life Stadium. Kofi Kingston with the trouble in paradise maneuver taking out Daniel Bryan. YES YES YES YES YES YES, We have a new yes man and he goes by the name of Kofi Kingston, YES YES YES YES YES YES Kofi Kingston is new WWE Champion and that God awful eco friendly championship is gone. Kofi you did it my dude. 🤟👊🤟👊🤟
My night is awesome, thank you Kofi. I don't care, Wrestlemania can suck for the remainder of the night. Kofi Kingston becoming the new WWE Champion is all I need.

Special Guest Commentator: Booker T
MATCH #07 "UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP"
SOMOA JOE DEFEAT REY MYSTERIO
Cheap win, omg what is this, Somoa Joe taking pointers from Seth Rollins on how to win quick and bullshit matches. Come on,  Joe your going to accept that victory. It isn't much of an impact on your first Wrestlemania ever. 👎👎👎👎

This match right here is going to be sick. Here you have two gladiators getting ready to shoot blow for blow. No championships on the line. Just pure bloodsport wrestling. This match I'm not picking a side. All I want is for both of y'all to "FIGHT".

MATCH #08
ROMAN REIGNS DEFEAT DREW MCINTYRE
It look like Roman Reigns may have his groove back.👍

We're about to hear, the musical stylings of Elias. Elias on drums, Elias on piano and Elias on guitar.
I wonder, whose coming out to interfere with Elias's set.
Lol, Elias receiving a special bulletin over the video tron about Babe Ruth.
THUGAMONICS, OMG he's here John Cena. "The Spotlight stealing/Mr Give me everything John Cena is here. BOOOOO!!!!
John Cena you suck, your raps are just as bad as your wrestling, smh. Elias kick his ass. Of course, John Cena got to be the one dominating Elias.

Triple H always have to make an entrance. Seriously, was the buggy mobile necessary. Smh, only with Triple H.

Special Guest Commentator: Shawn Michaels
MATCH #09 "NO HOLDS BARRED"
TRIPLE H DEFEAT BATISTA
Triple H getting ugly in this match. Triple H choking the life out of Batista with a thick metal chain. Triple H mangling the fingers of Batista with a wrench. Triple H ripping out the nose ring from Batista. Batista looking to gain some momentum. Batista with steal steps across the face of Triple H. Batista placing the steps across the announce table. Batista looking to end the match. Batista have in mind, the Batista bomb. Batista taking too long. Triple H countering and slamming Batista across the announce table. Both men laying across floor, struggling to get themselves back in the ring. Triple H looking under the ring for old faithful (the sledgehammer). Batista taking down Triple H with a spear. Batista looking to end the career of Triple H. Batista taking down Triple H with a Batista bomb. Batista have something to prove. He want everyone to know that his career wasn't made by Triple H. Batista kicking out from  the pedigree. Batista with a head bud to Triple H across the steel steps. Lol, I'm not surprised he's out here. Ric Flair making sure that Triple H get tonight's victory.

Special Guest Commentator: JBL
MATCH #10 "FAREWELL MATCH"
BARON CORBIN DEFEAT KURT ANGLE
Yo that was horrible. I can't believe it, Kurt Angle lost on his final match. Wow, Kurt Angle losing to Baron Corbin on his last match is like Adam Cole losing at NXT Takeover this past Friday to Johnny Gargano, what an upset. 🙁🙁🙁👎👎👎

MATCH #11 "INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP"
FINN BALOR THE DEMON DEFEAT BOBBY LASHLEY
Finn Balor recapturing the Intercontinental Championship and becoming a 02X Champion.

Carmela and R-Truh brief dance break, as we come down to the main event of the night. I believe all 80,000 people sitting here in the Met Life Stadium could use a break.

Look like Triple H isn't the only one who believes in unique entrances to the ring. Charlotte Flair being dropped off in the back by a helicopter. Ronda Rousey having the band perform her entrance music live here tonight in front of 80,000 people. Becky Lynch was the only one who came out normal. She didn't try and over sell it. This is why, I love The Man. Becky Lynch I'm for you and only you. 💋💋💋

MATCH #12 "A WINNER TAKES ALL FOR THE RAW & SD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP"
BECKY LYNCH DEFEAT RONDA ROUSEY AND CHARLOTTE FLAIR
YES YES YES YES YES YES, My girl did it. Becky Lynch the holders of both Raw and SD Championships. 😭😭😭😭 OMG, FUCKING A, BECKY I LOVE YOU. The Man did it. You are The Man! 💋💋💋💋

Next, WWE Pay Per View Event:
MONEY IN THE BANK, SUNDAY, MAY 19TH

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