Rusty Jabbz Newsletter February 2017 Issue #02 "Elimination Chamber Pay Per View"

Elimination Chamber, Live from Phoenix, Arizona

KICK OFF SHOW: Special Guest tonight with the Princess of Staten Island, Carmella and Sam Roberts

I was just thinking about this dufus these other day, Curt Hawkins. He's been M.I.A from Smackdown lately.
BINGO!!, The right hook from hell coming from Mojo.

01. MOJO RAWLEY DEFEAT CURT HAWKINS

MATCH #01
BECKY LYNCH DEFEAT MICKIE JAMES

Smackdown Live, doing the beautiful thing kicking it off tonight with the divas. I got my eyes on Becky Lynch. I'm disappointed in Mickie James. Mickie James you know what I had my heart set on. Mickie James at NXT as the new women's champion.  I'm not going to front, Mickie James doing an excellent job. However, my orange-haired girl, Becky still caught the upperhand laying down the victory. I can't be too mad at Mickie James though, she still have a phat ass, Lol!

MATCH #02
APOLLO CREWS & KALISTO DEFEAT DOLPH ZIGGLER
                                    "HANDICAP MATCH"

It's time to see how bad Dolph Ziggler really is. Excellent job from Ziggler taking out Kalisto before the bell rang. No one wants a 02 on 01 match. Now its just Dolph Ziggler verses Apollo Crews.
Kalisto trying to make it back in the ring, injury and all.
Dolph Ziggler letting them know how he feels about their victory particularly Apollo Crews. Ziggler snapping the left foot of Crews with a steel chair.

MATCH #03 "TAG TEAM TURMOIL MATCH"
HEATH SLATER & RHYNO DEFEAT BREEZANGO
HEATH SLATER & RHYNO DEFEAT THE VAUDEVILLIANS
THE USOS DEFEAT HEATH SLATER & RHYNO
THE AMERICAN ALPHAS DEFEAT THE USOS
THE AMERICAN ALPHAS DEFEAT THE ASCENSIONS
REMAINING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE AMERICAN ALPHAS

Heath Slater & Rhyno have been off the wall, 02 teams in row taken down. Totally awesome, I'm feelin' this. I don't know now, there next opponents, The Usos. They have a challenge now.
The Usos shutting down Heath Slater & Rhyno.
The Usos didn't like their elimination against The American Alphas. The Usos adding injury onto the American Alphas for payback. There's one more team left. OMG, I feel bad for The American Alphas. The Usos just handed the titles to The Ascensions. The Ascensions taking advantage of the beaten, American Alphas. I have no idea, how it happen but congratulations to the American Alphas for surviving the tag team turmoil and regaining your tag team championship gold.

MATCH #04
NIKKI BELLA VS NATALYA (DOUBLE COUNT OUT)

We got some more WWE buns in the ring. Wait a minute, don't we have a match with Alexa Bliss facing Naomi, later on tonight. Damn, we got a lot of WWE pussy on here tonight, Lol.
Nikki Bella looking bad in her hometown. Natalya keeping her word and kicking her ass.
They've been counted out. Both of them have been counted out. They never got back in the ring in time.

MATCH #05
RANDY ORTON DEFEAT LUKE HARPER

Luke Harper wants his family back. He's coming to eliminate Randy Orton.
This match is juicy. I agree with the audience, "This is awesome!"
Randy Orton need to take on another former, Wyatt Family member. I would love to see, Randy Orton verses Braun Strowman. I'll get the kick out of that.

MATCH #06
NAOMI DEFEAT ALEXA BLISS
                     "WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH"
Naomi the new Smackdown Women's champion

This right here would be cool. Looking forward to Naomi capturing the title tonight. Naomi deserve it more than that blonde bimbo, Alexa Bliss. WWE Board, don't be racist. Give it to a sista.
YES! YES! YES! YES!, that's what I'm talking about....
Thank you, WWE you finally gave it to someone who is appreciative not just someone who's a blonde airhead.
Congratulation to Naomi, her very first championship title shot. Finally, it's about time.

Up next is the final match of the evening, "THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH!" Involving 06 opponents inside a 16 foot high/ 10 ton steel cage wrapped in chains. The match will begin with 02 opponents. Every 04 minutes, a new one will be released from the pod until all 06. This is something familiar like the Royal Rumble except minus 24 opponents, lol. The winner of tonight's chamber match not only will become the new, Smackdown champion but will get the opportunity to face Randy Orton at Wrestle Mania 33rd.

MATCH #07/ MAIN EVENT: ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH
BARON CORBIN, 01ST ONE ELIMINATED BY DEAN AMBROSE
DEAN AMBROSE, 02ND ONE ELIMINATED BY THE MIZ
THE MIZ, 03RD ONE ELIMINATED BY JOHN CENA
JOHN CENA, 04TH ONE ELIMINATED BY BRAY WYATT
AJ STYLES, 05TH ONE ELIMINATED BY BRAY WYATT

BRAY WYATT, THE NEW AND FIRST TIME SMACKDOWN WORLD CHAMPION..... BRAY WYATT

Lol, I take it I was wrong. Look like Randy Orton will be facing another Wyatt Family member after all, lol.

NEXT WWE EVENTS:
MONDAY NIGHT RAW's FASTLANE SUNDAY MARCH 05TH

WWE HALL OF FAME FRIDAY MARCH 31ST

WWE WRESTLE MANIA 33RD SUNDAY APRIL 02ND

Rusty Jabbz Newsletter February 2017 Issue #01 "Screening of Ice Cube's Fist Fight"

I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm taking a chance out this evening. After  the snowstorm, we had this afternoon. What a blast, NYC had today? I'm on my way to the screening of next week's premiere, "Fist Fight" starring Ice Cube, Charlie Day, Tracey Morgan, Jillian Bell. If this doesn't show my love and inspiration for the art of journalism. I don't know what will.

Taking place tonight at the Regal E-Walk Stadium. I'm suppose to be there by 7pm. I better get inside tonight's screening. Or, else there will be a fist fight, lol. I didn't come out here in this snow for nothing.

Okay it look like there will be no fist fight, afterall. I made it in on time. I'm surprised by the way. I didn't expect the screening to still go on, after today's storm but people still came out 5"-8" inches of snow. This is what you call, "REAL NEW YORKERS!"

What an awesome night. I'am glad I decided to come out and witness the Fist Fight between Mr Campbell and Mr Strickland. Being portrayed by Ice Cube as Mr Strickland and Charlie Day as Mr Campbell. Also, we have Jillian Bell as Holly the sex crazed, Guidance Counselor and Tracey Morgan as The Coach.

I don' t normally address my scripts with such hostility but for this instance I feel it is required. Basically because of what the film is about and where it's taken place. Inside a fucked up school with fucked up teachers, fucked up students and a fucked up principal. This film is kind of like an, comedic version to Jim Belushi's 1987 "The Principal".

How many people can remember those last days of high school? In my days of high school. The last day of school was definitely something to look forward too. I know mine may not be as much as Roosevelt High's was in the film. I would love to, of had that same type of adrenaline rush the students had in Fist Fight to prank their teachers. That was crazy.

It was because of the students non-stop pranks and immature behavior which led to a teacher's fight between Mr Strickland and Mr Campbell.
Mr Strickland, who happens to be a history teacher was trying to teach his students by showing them a film based on the history of the Civil War. Of course the students wouldn't pay any attention and have tampered with the VCR by the usage of their mobile devices. This is what I mentioned, before. Imagine being in a school with such fucked up students and teachers. I feel for Mr Strickland taking his anger out onto the students. It was perhaps a bit much with the usage of the fire axe chopping down a student desk. This is what got Mr Strickland fired. Mr Campbell turning him in to the principal to save his job. That didn't sit well with Mr Strickland, he wanted to take it back to high school and teach Mr Campbell a lesson on snitching. You know that code of the streets, "UP NORTH SNITCHES BECOME BITCHES!"

Mr Campbell have spent the remainder of his day in fear and in ridicule as the pranks continued by the students. No matter what anyone said, Mr Campbell wouldn't fight Mr Strickland. He didn't believe that two grown men should be fighting like teenagers to settle a difference. Mr Campbell tried everything to change Mr Strickland mind on this fight. Nothing he said, would change his mind. Strickland mind was set for 3pm to have their showdown. 

Since, Mr Campbell wouldn't fight Mr Strickland. He began thinking of negative plots to pin against Mr Strickland that'll perhaps get him into trouble. Mr Campbell first begun with the planting of molly on Mr Strickland, lol. This is so funny Mr Campbell failed due to the fact that the police dogs can not sniff for molly. He did manage to plant marijuana onto Mr Strickland. However, marijuana isn't a real narcotic but he ended up getting Mr Strickland arrested along with himself, lol. The cops bought him in for the molly. Overall, it was a confusing argument that the cops couldn't figure out so they bought them both in.

Mr Campbell wouldn't stop, he still wasn't going to fight Mr Strickland. Even in the slammer, Mr Campbell tried to pull a fast one and set up Strickland to be beaten by another inmate. Of course, Campbell's plan backfiring. The two were eventually released. It turns out that the molly really was aspirin, lol. More student pranks for him, lol. 

The time have finally came. The final moment of truth have came, 3 o'clock in the school yard with Mr Strickland. I'm not going to say who won the fist fight. I'll let you figure it out or perhaps attend the premiere next week. 

4 JABBZ RATING!

"FIST FIGHT, IN THEATERS EVERYWHERE FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2017"