RUSTY JABBZ NEWSLETTER SEPTEMBER 2014 ISSUE #03

"THE GUEST"... be careful who you let in

Yippie!!! I'm a guest. I've been invited to the special advance screening of "The Guest". Yeah, I don't know, what that is. I should, thank who ever invited me out here, this evening to attend the screening. That's another thing, I'm unsure of. From what I can see, I've been invited by the Village Voice Movie Club & Stella Artois. I have no knowledge of Stella Artois and no recollection of ever joining the Village Voice Movie Club. It's funny how, my e-mail end up all over the place, onto various websites. However, I'am thankful. I will hope for the best, this evening and if I don't you'll hear about its disgrace, tomorrow.

I'm just now, arriving. I made it. I missed the first 15 minutes of the opening. That's not too far to catch up on. From where I have walked in the theater at. You can tell from that scene, it happen to be the arrival and introduction of the guest. Introducing himself at the front door. This movie is odd and it will have you amazed in many different ways. I owe my apologies to the Village Voice. I'am grateful now for coming out here, this evening.

This film is about a neurological subject set up in the military. A former soldier being used for experimentation (special forces). I can't tell you exactly, what happened in the very beginning of the movie. See this is why, we're suppose to be on time for our assignments. However, what I can recall. The unsub soldier utilizing the identity of deceased, soldier David Anderson Collins, as his own identity. In order to gain access into the Peterson's household. Unsub seeking some form of hiding from the K.G.B. and the Military Police.

This is where the film gets interesting. I guess, I should thank, God I was fortunate to walk in, just when it was about to get good. Talk about perfect timing, lol. I would like to know, how many of y'all out there ever came across a situation similar as this movie. You know, your sitting at home with your family on a normal day. No matter, which day of the week it is. It's just a typical day with your family. Then out of nowhere you receive a knock on your door. Behind that door happens to be one of the most politest, most handsome, most charming, most well mannered, stranger you ever came across.

There, he is the unsub presenting himself at the Peterson's residence under the false identification, David Anderson Collins. The Petersons, home to another falling soldier and their son, Caleb Peterson. David Collins taking advantage of the Peterson's condolences by falsifying his friendship with their deceased son, Caleb. This is what I meant from, it keeps getting better and better. He put on such a great act. Everyone in town only fell into his arms. He has that kind of appeal.

At the beginning of the movie I thought, David Collins was just a mere house guest aka problem solver. That's what it seemed, he was doing at first. If not solving other people's problems. Assisting, The Petersons perhaps whenever they needed it. In this case, The Peterson needed to be felt over the lost of their son. It turned out, it was all an front to make the residence in town least expect him.

It comes to a point, all good things must reach a solid end. David Collins, finally reached that point. No matter, how polite, good looking or charming, he claimed to be. Despite the amount of people in the neighborhood who showed him love. There's always one, who hates and doubts that person. In this case, these doubts were more truths.

I would like to say, good night and thank you once again to the Village Voice and Stella Artois for tonight's movie screening. Thank you even more for the after party and open bar much love. Listen up, everybody "The Guest" coming soon to a theater near you. I rate tonight's performance 5 JABBZ. FANTASTIC!

and do remember, "BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LET IN!!!"

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RUSTY JABBZ NEWSLETTER SEPTEMBER 2014 ISSUE #02

I'm not quite sure on who I should thank for tonight's performance at the Gotham Comedy Club. All thank yous and appreciations for tonight's invite, I give to the Blacklist NYC. I had a wonderful time out here tonight.

I guess, deep down I should be glad I came. I wasn't quite sure, earlier but I'm glad I didn't let anything keep me held back. 

It have been awhile since I attended a Blacklist affair. The last time I attended one, was for the Totally Bias own W. Kamau Bell. It's been quite some time. I have received several e-mail invites in the past but were unable to attend. I do not know much about tonight's event, its comedians and its venue. The one thing I do know, I'm looking for fun. I've been working hard over the last weekend putting in overtime. I never gotten the chance to celebrate Labor Day. Today's my Labor Day. Tonight's my Labor Day. I'm in the midst of fun, making up for lost time.

Gotham Comedy Club in the heart of CHELSEA "MONEY MAKING MANHATTAN!".

I want all my, Rusty Jabbers to stop reading and give a round of applause to the host of the evening, Drew Frazier. Ok, Drew I don't know how to spell your name. I hope I spelled it correctly. Is it with a "Z" or a "S". It doesn't matter, who's the one writing this newsletter. I'm going to leave it with a "Z". Besides I like it spelled better that way.

Rusty Jabbz, I want you to put more than your hands together for this, next person. Lord, know I wanted to. Who knew you can be, "Sexy @ Sixty!" Give it up to Jerry Seinfeld! Oh man, what a hunk! See now, I can really sit down and enjoy me some, Jerry Seinfeld. And, I'm not talking about his horrendous television show from ages ago.

Gotham Comedy Club was packed tonight. The people (out of towners) came out to see what was happening from all over. Let me see if I can remember who was in the house. You don't got to worry about Brooklyn. We're always in the house. I believe New Jersey was in house. Connecticut was in the house. Fairfield, Va was in the house. Alabama was in the house. California was in the house. California and Alabama coming out here that's "What's Up!" That's definitely a good look for tonight. A even better look was these two countries being in the house. Barcelona was in the house. London was in the house. These two right here, were serious. God bless both groups of people from both countries. For coming out here from Barcelona and coming out here from London.

I'm having a great time so far. I would like to thank all the comedians, who came out tonight.... of course, Drew Frazier, Larry Miller, Jerry Seinfeld, Steven Scott, Dan Shaggy, Mike Merryfield, Gina Yashere and Ryan Reiss. (I hope I spelled these motherfuckers name's right, I don't want to hear SHIT!) Motherfuckers know I'm getting old. My hearing isn't like it used to be. Then again, it could just be all this wax inside my ears. What the fuck? See, what happens. Attend one comedy event and next thing you know your ass is coming out of there talking like Red Foxx, lol.

These comedians were doing there thing on stage. Just don't look my way and do your thing on me. Then, we got a problem. I'm not trying to be the ones that get singled out and ridiculed. Y'all don't forget, I got the pen and the blog. You won't know, what is being said about your event if any attempt of ridiculous banter is being aimed at me. You don't know! Motherfucker try to hurt me. Imma hurt his career. I don't play that shit. I'm the one, who does the laughing at not the laughing on. Same goes for any gay jokes. You can make jokes about everyone else except the gays. You could make fun of black people, I don't give a fuck. I'm not black anymore, lol. Just leave the gays and other LGBTQ groups out of your comedy sketches. "NO GAY JOKES ALLOWED!" I hear one gay joke and I'm on the phone ready to ignite your trouble. I make my own fuckin' rules now. Earlier, they had a rule "No White Shirts Allowed!" What the fuck kind of rule is that no white shirts. Now, if you said "NO WHITE PEOPLE ALLOWED" that I would love and it would be a whole lot better, lol.
Motherfuckers reading this, they're asking "What's wrong with Dj Handspin since when he became a racist? I ain't no racist. Its like I told y'all. You go to one of these type of events. Next thing, you coming out on some Robin Harris shit. Fuck yeah, I'm on my Robin Harris shit (RIP).

I wanna thank everyone for coming out tonight except my man. I had to go stag. Do people still use that word? There it is, I just gave away my age again. I wouldn't have to use that word if my boyfriend came with me. I'm not going to go there. I'm a bit young and sexy. I can still go out and have a good time by myself. Speaking of a good time. I would like to experience what happened here tonight all over again. Apparently, we can every Thursday is "GOTHAM COMEDY LIVE". Oh yeah, I may have forgot to mention that. I'm over here yapping and yapping but I never told anyone the best part about tonight.

This is a live performance being taped for AXS television. So everybody tonight was on television. My ass was on t.v. They had my ass sitting in the front row. See being that I came to the event alone. They tried to match me up and sit me with a white chick, who also came here alone. I was like "Let me guess, this is the loser section". My baby made me a loser for tonight.

My favorite comedian of the night other than Mr Sexy Sixty Seinfeld happen to be Steven Scott. A great impressionist, he did a very good job especially the great imitations of his parents. Although I really don't know his parents. I'm not sure on whether or not they actually sound like that but it was funny regardless. The best impression I liked coming off of Steven Scott happen to be the answering machine impression. That was so bananas the way he imitated himself into being an answering machine. Then closing out his sketch with it. Leaving the crowd, the last thing to remember. Like I always said, "The last thing is usually the best thing." Thank you, Steven Scott for a wonderful performance. 

My next favorite comedian of the night. Rusty Jabbz put your hands together for Astoria's own Dan Shaggy. Who happens to be out here making his first television appearance. I said, to myself, he's a new jack let me give him some media spotlight. Well that and he kind of turned me on a bit. Well, you know I've only been out the closet for three years but I have known that I was gay since I was seven. So, you know what team I'm riding for and I respect any man that respect us (LGBTQ). There was something that Dan Shaggy have bought up during his sketch. Dan, claiming he has a guy interested in him for free. Dan, however seem to have some interests back in return. I appreciate the love being shown to the gays. This is what I was talking about earlier with, "NO GAY JOKES ALLOWED!" I'm glad someone got up on stage and did the opposite. Hey, Mr Shaggy you just found here another gay male who's interested in you tonight. Gimme a call, lol.

I just want to thank everyone but before I do that. You to can be apart of the Gotham Comedy Live audience and AXS TV. The next big event is Thursday, September 11th guest starring: Carlos Mencia. I have no idea, who that is but  you still can come down and have a good time like I did. Well not quite like I did. If you do happen to attend don't sit in the loser section. Bring a date!

This is Dj Handspin Dinero signing off live from Gotham Comedy Live!

Dj Handspin Dinero,
OUT!

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