Sunday, June 19, 2016

RUSTY JABBZ NEWSLETTER JUNE 2016 ISSUE #01 "MONEY IN THE BANK PPV!"

M.I.T.B. KICK OFF SHOW:

Match #01 Goldentruth defeat Breezango
Goldust pinning Fandango.... The Goldentruth, finally capturing a victory over Breezango.

Match #02 The Lucha Dragons defeat The Dudley Boyz

M.I.T.B. Pay Per View Begins......

Let's see what takes place this evening in Vegas. This is how we're going to kick off a pay per view.  Rusty Jabbz say hello to Enzo Amore and Big Cass.

Match #01: The New Day defeat Enzo & Cass, The VaudeVillians, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows
                  "FATAL FOUR WAY/ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH"
The New Day getting ready for there 302nd day reign as champions. See you guys tomorrow night on Raw.

Match #02: Baron Corbin defeat Dolph Ziggler
Where is this feud going between them? I have notice a change in Dolph Ziggler. That is right, for the first time I agree with the WWE audience. This match is boring. I'm starting to feel disappointed in Dolph Ziggler. What happened to all that crap you was talking on Smack Down the last two weeks. I don't see any of it being pulled off, smh. Dolph Ziggler is making alot of mistakes throughout this match. I'm sorry, I may not like Baron Corbin but he deserve to have his hand raised.

Ok, my WWE App is having technical difficulties. Please do not start this again. I already went through this b.s. over Impact on Tuesday. Just a few minutes ago, we were at the beginning of the women's match. Somehow the app shifted back to the end of the previous match.

Match #03: Charlotte & Dana Brooke defeat Natalya & Becky Lynch
Natalya and Becky giving Dana Brooke a heartache made famous by the Heart Foundation. It would be nice if that bitch, Charlotte would catch a real heartache, lol. Of course these skanks were going to win.
OMG, I was only thinking it inside my head. I can't believe it, right there in front of my eyes. I witnessed, Natalya turning on Becky Lynch. I fucking jinxed them, SHIT!!!

Match #04: Apollo Crews defeat Sheamus
Sheamus hoping to gain his wish tonight, to put an end to this new era. This match is interesting, it's sort of like South Africa verses Ireland.
LMAO, what a huge win for Apollo Crews. Hey, no one told Sheamus to argue with the referee over a pin count. It look like South Africa won tonight. "CONGRATULATIONS TO APOLLO CREWS!"

Match #05: Aj Styles defeat John Cena
It is time for the, "DREAM MATCH!" Ten years in the making. LET'S GO CENA, AJ STYLES, LET'S GO CENA, AJ STYLES, LET'S GO CENA, AJ STYLES, LET'S GO CENA, AJ STYLES, LET'S GO CENA, AJ STYLES
Stop asking if that's all he got and give him something, Aj.
Smart move, Cena moving out of the way allowing Aj Styles to hit the floor. I can't believe I'm congratulating, John Cena.
Aj Styles have John Cena in a calfcrusher, will Cena tap out. John Cena manage to get out delivering the "AA" on a bad leg. Aj Styles kicked out of the "AA". John Cena off of the top rope. Aj Styles kicks out.
Aj Styles with the styles clash placed on John Cena, Cena kicks out. John Cena with the "AA" inadvertently knocking out the referee. John Cena have Aj Styles down for the three count.
The Club are here dragging Aj's body over John Cena. The referee is back up and counts the pin. What a cheap and cheesy victory. I guess, John Cena is right Styles your nothing more than part of your bitch club.

Do anyone realize someone replaced on tonight's Money In The Bank pay per view. Who is missing from tonight's commentary, lol?

Match #06: Dean Ambrose "MITB WINNER!"
                          "Money In The Bank Ladder Match"
Apparently the last match wasn't our dream match unless your a scumbag and you agree with Aj Styles and The Club's decision. Let's hope this match will make up for it by its final decision. Tonight's participants in the M.I.T.B..... Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Alberto Del Rio, Dean Ambrose, Cesaro and Sami Zayn.
Sami Zayn have the first opportunity of the night to climb the ladder.
Del Rio, wasting time he taken everyone out. Del Rio, finally climbing the ladder. Del Rio didn't pull it off. Now it's everyone taking turns running up and down the ladder. This match is all about who unlatches the briefcase first. I can't believe I'm saying this but I must give it to Kevin Owens. He rarely scaled up that ladder since this match began. He's been busy focusing on demolishing his competitors first.
All six men are at the top of an ladder reaching towards the briefcase.
Sami Zayn had three close calls in unlatching the briefcase.
Dean Ambrose the last man standing in the ring and the last man climbing up the ladder. Mr Money In The Bank, Dean Ambrose.

Match #07: Rusev defeat Titus O'neil
                                  "United States Championship Match"
A wrestler who is about due for his first single championship. Titus O'neil taking on Rusev, tonight for the United States Championship.
Lol, Rusev your a dick you know that. That wasn't nice mocking, Titus O'neil in front of his children.

Match #08: Seth Rollins defeat Roman Reigns
                         "WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match"
Anyway who cares, this is all that matters. This is the match we all came to see, Roman Reigns verses Seth Rollins. Anyone who knows me, knows who I'm routing for "ROMAN REIGNS!" I don't have to ask, who some of my friends are routing for. I just know I need to stay off facebook or any social media tomorrow. I do not want to run into any of my friends celebrating if the wrong man wins here tonight.
"ROMAN REIGNS, ALL THE WAY!"  Y'all could boo, Roman Reigns all y'all want. He got my support, "LET'S GO ROMAN!"
Money In The Bank is now currently in overtime. It's WrestleMania all over again. I'm glad I didn't go out to Legends Bar and Grill for the pay per view party.
I wonder if Dean Ambrose is going to cash in his briefcase after this match. It's obvious, I didn't learn anything. After what happened earlier between Natalya and Becky Lynch. I really need to stop thinking and making premonitions.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO Rollins defeated Reigns NO NO NO NO NO NO NO....  Wait a minute,
Yes, Dean Ambrose is coming out, his music playing. Dean Ambrose from behind with the briefcase over Seth Rollins' head. Dean Ambrose cashing in his MITB briefcase.

Match #09 Dean Ambrose defeat Seth Rollins
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

Thank you, Ambrose you cashed in on Rollins. I don't care, I'll except a lunatic for an champion. Trust me, it is much better than having an asshole for a champion.

NEXT PPV, BATTLEGROUND SUNDAY JULY 24TH WASHINGTON DC